I’ll be presenting at the August Electric Connection Gathering. Electric Connection is a new monthly gathering fostering meaningful relationships for queer men, and sponsored by the California Men’s Gathering.

Sunday, Augst 12th – 4PM
Hanuman Center

4450 18th Street, San Francisco, CA
$10 – Sign-up through:
MeetUp.com OR
EventBrite.com

During this last winter my friend and I decided to explore the elements in a freeform, guided meditation. When we meditated on fire we both came up with similar ideas and imagery. For us fire was about change and transformation, but also about warmth, sustenance and community. Many images came of communities gathering around a fire circle for a ritual or the hearth of a home, and even around the stove in a kitchen. How many parties have you been to where the little kitchen is full of people and the spacious living room is empty? Humans are drawn to community, connection and contact. By our nature, we are not solitary beings. Science has shown that without contact with others our physical and mental health suffers greatly.

Community and connection is paramount to our well being, and not just any community, but our sangha. Sangha is a Buddhist term, which refers to our community of kindred spirits, like-minded friends or our spiritual community. Your sangha is the community where you can be yourself, relax and find support. For some this is at work or school, for others it’s in your own family or even at the local watering hole.
There are many people who may feel isolated from that sense of community. They may feel like outsiders because of their beliefs or a particular disability. I want to acknowledge that it can be a struggle to find a sangha for some. To those people, I would encourage your to not give up and keep looking. I also offer two other options, the first being the internet. In this day of social networking we can meet people from all around the world, and we are bound to find other kindred spirits out there. The second possibility is the internal sangha, for those with a spiritual practice or believe system. In prayer and meditation we can find a multitude of support networks through a pantheon of gods and goddesses, angels, spirit guides or mythical figures. Even our imagination can create a rich center of support, perhaps by reading uplifting stories or sagas of great heroes who have discovered strength in their wounding.

We seek out these communities when we feel good and want to connect, but also when we want to take refuge from our struggles and difficulties. And even though our community may not have the answers or solutions, we feel better simply because we can rest in that connection with our people.

– Nick Venegoni, MA

This time of year people usually start to make plans for what they want to make of their time in the coming months and begin to muse on how to go about making that manifest. But for some reason the concept of endings has consistently been pushing its way into my awareness recently, so I feel the call to reflect upon it.

It has come to my attention more significantly, how our culture has a difficult time with endings. We seem to rush through them, if not bypassing them altogether, as if we are in a hurry to begin the next “item on our list.” However I believe that it is the thoughts and feelings, which accompany endings that we might be avoiding. With the ending of relationships we frequently experience grief, disappointment, heartache, and perhaps judgment that we failed. Yes, these thoughts and feelings can be unpleasant, but they are a part of the human experience. They make us who we are, as beings with minds, bodies and hearts.

All of these experiences are important to look at, for they show us more about who we are, where we are now and the direction we are heading. By consciously moving through an ending without avoiding any aspect of it, we can bring more resolution to the experience and our life as a whole.

In my practice I work with couples and individuals who struggle in their relationships, and come looking for help and support. It is important for me to let them know that I am not here to save their relationship, but to help them find their own way to resolution; and sometimes that resolution means ending the relationship. When that is the case, bringing more consciousness to the couple through the dissolution of their relationship can allow more healing for each of them. Many people end relationships in anger and pain, and dwell on that suffering for quite a while, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

It takes courage to truly look at oneself through the process of any kind of ending. Moving through these processes consciously can bring a greater understanding of yourself and help you bring clarity to what is on your horizon.

– Nick Venegoni, MFT

Tuesday, May 10 · 8:00pm – 9:30pm

SF LGBT Community Center
1800 Market Street
San Francisco, CA

Anger: It can creep up on us from nowhere – explosive outbursts, road rage or sudden arguments with friends or partners. Then it leaves us exhausted and often with feelings of regret or depression. This class will focus on slowing down anger and exploring the thoughts and feelings which lay beneath.

Open to all Gay/Bi/Transgendered men. Sponsored by SNAP! of the SF LGBT Community Center, and facilitated by Nick Venegoni, MA Counseling Psychology. Nick has been practicing mindfulness and meditation for 10 years now and enjoys guiding others to deeper places in themselves in order to facilitate personal healing.

This is a FREE Workshop

Tuesday, April 26 · 8:00pm – 9:30pm

SF LGBT Community Center
1800 Market Street
San Francisco, CA

Are you struggling with life stressors such as unemployment, finances, or relationships? Learn mindfulness skills to help reduce stress and get anxiety under control.

Open to all Gay/Bi/Transgendered men. Sponsored by SNAP! of the SF LGBT Community Center, and facilitated by Nick Venegoni, MA Counseling Psychology. Nick has been practicing mindfulness and meditation for 10 years now and enjoys guiding others to deeper places in themselves in order to facilitate personal healing.

This is a FREE Workshop.